Salvete!
It's Monday.
It's beautiful outside, and has been for the past week. I absolutely love walking out of my door into the temperate air of a Texas midwinter morning. Even if I sleep poorly, or if I am in a mood, breathing in the morning air at the top of the stairs is a shock of energy that prepares me for the day.
This particular morning, I arrived at work feeling especially buoyant. There are many reasons I can think of to be in a good mood, and many reasons also to be sour. I will not go into listing either set of reasons, because whatever reasons exist, I am happy to be here this morning. I had five or six kids in here before school just laughing and having a lovely time. One got her hair cut and colored, two were wary of an invite to an honor society, one would/could not shut his mouth, and one was baffled by my musical performance of my new song-obsession, "If I Die Young" by The Band Perry.
Mornings like this always remind me of Mrs. Dalloway. Everyone remembers the first sentence, going, "Mrs. Dalloway said she would buy the flowers herself." But those are not the lines I remember. The line in my head when I walk out of the door in the mornings is this: "What a lark! What a plunge!" It goes on, "For so it had always seemed to her, when, with a little squeak of the hinges, which she could hear now, she had burst open the French windows and plunged at Bourton into the open air. How fresh, how calm, stiller than this of course, the air was in the early morning; like the flap of a wave; the kiss of a wave, chill and sharp..." I love thinking of every morning's step out the door as a step into the lapping cold of the ocean, a step into the embrace of the past and all of its glory. How can one not be invigorated by such a thought?
What a lark! What a plunge!
Ah, Mrs. Dalloway and your white narrow bed in the attic, your love of parties, your distaste for Septimus tainting the perfect air of your festivity. You are with me this morning in a poignant way which I cannot quite grasp. I am grateful, however, for your companionship. It makes things easier to bear.
More to come later, I assume, as today portends to be very dull, despite my joy.
Valete,
Magistra
Monday, January 31, 2011
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
Pizza or Paper?
Salvete!
Today was the Special Program's award ceremony. Any student who passed all of their classes received a certificate, and any student who made straight A's got a certificate and a gift card. We had seven out of 64 make straight A's. I cannot even begin to say how proud I am of my kids. Some of them have worked harder than they (or I) ever thought they could (or would). Not only that, but they got pizza.
It may surprise you, but some were more pleased to get the certificate than the food. Kids these days! Yeesh!
Today I have to give a special shout-out to a friend of mine. I admire her more than I can say. I hope she will not mind me mentioning that her mother is going through some very difficult medical treatment, and it has affected my friend greatly. Nonetheless, my dear friend has persevered (as we all knew she would, of course) and continued to be the strong person she always has been. In the face of so much heartache, the rest of us can only look to her example and yank our problems quickly into their proper place and perspective. Thank you, friend, for being a hero and example in this difficult time of your life.
If you are interested, my friend's blog is kickass. It is here. Prepare to be whimsicalized.
In other news, Anime Club is cancelled today because of what I thought was a mandatory meeting about some changes that are coming to our school district next year. I have found out today that said meeting is not in fact mandatory. Thus, Anime Club will remain cancelled, and I will be scooting myself out of the building with all haste. Nap time, here I come!
Oh, sweet reprieve!
To continue on a victorious note...
An interaction between a student and myself:
Student: Can I go to my locker?
Me: What for?
S: I need to get something for my next class.
M: You can go on your passing period.
S: But we have that award ceremony.
M: You will have plenty of time.
S: But I don't feel like going to my locker on my passing period.
M: Your feelings in this matter are of no interest to me.
S: FINE!
HAHAHAHA! I get to do that because I am the teacher. WORD.
If you have never seen Taylor Mali do his slam poem, "What Teachers Make," I highly recommend looking it up on YouTube. I would link you, but YouTube is Strictly Forbidden at work. The above conversation reminds me of the segment of WTM that goes something like:
"I make kids sit through 40 minutes of study hall
In absolute silence. No, you cannot work in groups.
No, you cannot ask a question, so put your hand down.
Why can't you go to the bathroom? Because you're bored,
And you don't really have to go, do you?!"
That's right, Taylor! They can hold it! I bear witness!
Valete,
Magistra
Today was the Special Program's award ceremony. Any student who passed all of their classes received a certificate, and any student who made straight A's got a certificate and a gift card. We had seven out of 64 make straight A's. I cannot even begin to say how proud I am of my kids. Some of them have worked harder than they (or I) ever thought they could (or would). Not only that, but they got pizza.
It may surprise you, but some were more pleased to get the certificate than the food. Kids these days! Yeesh!
Today I have to give a special shout-out to a friend of mine. I admire her more than I can say. I hope she will not mind me mentioning that her mother is going through some very difficult medical treatment, and it has affected my friend greatly. Nonetheless, my dear friend has persevered (as we all knew she would, of course) and continued to be the strong person she always has been. In the face of so much heartache, the rest of us can only look to her example and yank our problems quickly into their proper place and perspective. Thank you, friend, for being a hero and example in this difficult time of your life.
If you are interested, my friend's blog is kickass. It is here. Prepare to be whimsicalized.
In other news, Anime Club is cancelled today because of what I thought was a mandatory meeting about some changes that are coming to our school district next year. I have found out today that said meeting is not in fact mandatory. Thus, Anime Club will remain cancelled, and I will be scooting myself out of the building with all haste. Nap time, here I come!
Oh, sweet reprieve!
To continue on a victorious note...
An interaction between a student and myself:
Student: Can I go to my locker?
Me: What for?
S: I need to get something for my next class.
M: You can go on your passing period.
S: But we have that award ceremony.
M: You will have plenty of time.
S: But I don't feel like going to my locker on my passing period.
M: Your feelings in this matter are of no interest to me.
S: FINE!
HAHAHAHA! I get to do that because I am the teacher. WORD.
If you have never seen Taylor Mali do his slam poem, "What Teachers Make," I highly recommend looking it up on YouTube. I would link you, but YouTube is Strictly Forbidden at work. The above conversation reminds me of the segment of WTM that goes something like:
"I make kids sit through 40 minutes of study hall
In absolute silence. No, you cannot work in groups.
No, you cannot ask a question, so put your hand down.
Why can't you go to the bathroom? Because you're bored,
And you don't really have to go, do you?!"
That's right, Taylor! They can hold it! I bear witness!
Valete,
Magistra
Friday, January 21, 2011
Accentuate the Positive!
Salvete,
In reading over my last few blog posts, it occurred to me that I have been far too negative. I do not want anyone thinking that I hate my job. I definitely do not want anyone thinking that I dislike my students. Quite the contrary! I love my job, and I am very blessed to have it. Teaching jobs are hard to come by in our current economic climate, and one as nice as mine is especially rare. As for my students, there is not a single one that I regret currently having in class. There is not a single one that I wish would leave and never come back. They are all so different, so interesting, so angsty! How could one not love their ever-changing moods, their poorly-masked need for approval, and their desire to achieve?
Teenagers have a desire to achieve? Mine do. They are not in this special program because they are slackers. Some of them slack off, yes, but none of them are slackers. Circumstances get in the way of success sometimes. However, in the face of so many people who expect them to fail due to race, ethnicity, behavior records, or socioeconomic situations, my students stand up and refuse to fall into the stereotypes. They want more. I just have to remember that right now, they are so young, and are not yet that which they will become. But they will be. And that is all I need to know.
Valete,
Magistra
In reading over my last few blog posts, it occurred to me that I have been far too negative. I do not want anyone thinking that I hate my job. I definitely do not want anyone thinking that I dislike my students. Quite the contrary! I love my job, and I am very blessed to have it. Teaching jobs are hard to come by in our current economic climate, and one as nice as mine is especially rare. As for my students, there is not a single one that I regret currently having in class. There is not a single one that I wish would leave and never come back. They are all so different, so interesting, so angsty! How could one not love their ever-changing moods, their poorly-masked need for approval, and their desire to achieve?
Teenagers have a desire to achieve? Mine do. They are not in this special program because they are slackers. Some of them slack off, yes, but none of them are slackers. Circumstances get in the way of success sometimes. However, in the face of so many people who expect them to fail due to race, ethnicity, behavior records, or socioeconomic situations, my students stand up and refuse to fall into the stereotypes. They want more. I just have to remember that right now, they are so young, and are not yet that which they will become. But they will be. And that is all I need to know.
Valete,
Magistra
Thursday, January 20, 2011
Testing
Salvete,
I'm afraid it is now time to write a post on testing. I have mentioned such as testing before, but the spring always brings with it a fresh reminder of the joys of the standardized test. If you ask any teacher what the spring is about in public high school, one word will (if not at first, eventually) come to mind.
Testing.
How do I hate thee? Let me count the ways!
1) TELPAS
2) LAT
3) TAKS
4) STAAR (new)
5) EOCs
6) AP Tests
7) Benchmarks
8) SAT/ACT/THEA (I group these because they do not affect me directly and can take place anytime of year)
9) Etc.
All of the above occur from March 1 to May 30. The school at which I earn my pay tests approximately 2800 students. Do not let this number fool you into some delusion that the students are neatly divided into classrooms in groups of 25 and tested with pretty sharpened pencils.
The state will not allow it.
No.
NO!
Each test must be administerd to a specific population, and at specific times, in specific windows. Proctoring each test requires sometimes multiple trainings. They make the trainings and proctor certifications requirements, because if they did not, no one would go and no one would be certified to proctor the test.
Below, I have provided for you a run-down of what it takes to coordinate a single test date.
1) The testing coordinator makes a giant spreadsheet, because not every student is taking every test, so for this one test date, she has to figure out who is taking what. This spreadsheet must consist of student names, student ID numbers, teachers, room numbers (but what rooms can we use? Anecdote: last year I was supposed to give the TAKS in a room that, when opened, had four wheelchairs, a teacher desk, and a changing screen), and whether that student is special ed or has any kind of accommodations.
2) The testing coordinator sends an email to everyone and forgets to attach the giant spreadsheet.
3) The testing coordinator gets about 45 emails letting her know she forgot the attachment.
4) The testing coordinator corrects her greivous error.
5) The testing coordinator gets about 53 emails letting her know what was wrong with her spreadsheet.
6) And so on.
7) Every day of the week before testing, the teachers remind the students to check the giant spreadsheet sans ID numbers and special ed info (posted in at least 8 places around the building) to ensure they go to the right room on test day.
8) The students show up on test day, vaguely aware that there is something important going on.
9) The students show up to their normal first period, and are turned away by the proctor, a stranger, who tells them to go look at one of the aforementioned 8 occurances of giant spreadsheets which have mysteriously appeared in the last week, and which the children claim never to have heard of before.
10) Testing commences.
11) Active Monitoring (AM) commences. Now, you may be asking "Shouldn't you say, "Active monitoring (Am)"? To you doubters of my abilities in understanding the rules of capitalization, I say, "Clearly you have never proctored a test." AM involves the following:
a) Forcing the students to stand outside your door as you check each one of them in.
b) Taking each student's lunch order.
c) Forcing them to part with anything they brought and put it at the front of the room.
d) Taking away and labeling their cell phones or other electronic devices.
e) Filling out a provided seating chart that does not match the dimensions of the room.
f) Taking attendance 3 times (not a hyperbole).
g) Reading the test directions and helping people understand how to write their names.
h) Admitting late students, who also require all of the above procedures.
i) Walking around the room for a period of four to five hours. You may not sit.
j) Escorting students to the bathroom like they are five years old.
k) Recording who and what time they went to the bathroom.
l) Blah blah blah.
m) Collecting all test materials and delivering them back to the office.
n) Delivering any students who are (impossibly) not finished with the test to another place.
Letters "a" through "h" must be done to 25 students in approximately 10 minutes.
12) Class (usually lunch and third period) commences. The children are drained and prone to misbehavior.
13) A movie is started in every classroom on campus, and the children form theories about why they have to come to school a full day if all we do is watch a movie after TAKS. The teachers also wonder this, and may or may not express their wonderment.
I guess that's it.
Don't you want to be a teacher?
Valete.
Magistra
I'm afraid it is now time to write a post on testing. I have mentioned such as testing before, but the spring always brings with it a fresh reminder of the joys of the standardized test. If you ask any teacher what the spring is about in public high school, one word will (if not at first, eventually) come to mind.
Testing.
How do I hate thee? Let me count the ways!
1) TELPAS
2) LAT
3) TAKS
4) STAAR (new)
5) EOCs
6) AP Tests
7) Benchmarks
8) SAT/ACT/THEA (I group these because they do not affect me directly and can take place anytime of year)
9) Etc.
All of the above occur from March 1 to May 30. The school at which I earn my pay tests approximately 2800 students. Do not let this number fool you into some delusion that the students are neatly divided into classrooms in groups of 25 and tested with pretty sharpened pencils.
The state will not allow it.
No.
NO!
Each test must be administerd to a specific population, and at specific times, in specific windows. Proctoring each test requires sometimes multiple trainings. They make the trainings and proctor certifications requirements, because if they did not, no one would go and no one would be certified to proctor the test.
Below, I have provided for you a run-down of what it takes to coordinate a single test date.
1) The testing coordinator makes a giant spreadsheet, because not every student is taking every test, so for this one test date, she has to figure out who is taking what. This spreadsheet must consist of student names, student ID numbers, teachers, room numbers (but what rooms can we use? Anecdote: last year I was supposed to give the TAKS in a room that, when opened, had four wheelchairs, a teacher desk, and a changing screen), and whether that student is special ed or has any kind of accommodations.
2) The testing coordinator sends an email to everyone and forgets to attach the giant spreadsheet.
3) The testing coordinator gets about 45 emails letting her know she forgot the attachment.
4) The testing coordinator corrects her greivous error.
5) The testing coordinator gets about 53 emails letting her know what was wrong with her spreadsheet.
6) And so on.
7) Every day of the week before testing, the teachers remind the students to check the giant spreadsheet sans ID numbers and special ed info (posted in at least 8 places around the building) to ensure they go to the right room on test day.
8) The students show up on test day, vaguely aware that there is something important going on.
9) The students show up to their normal first period, and are turned away by the proctor, a stranger, who tells them to go look at one of the aforementioned 8 occurances of giant spreadsheets which have mysteriously appeared in the last week, and which the children claim never to have heard of before.
10) Testing commences.
11) Active Monitoring (AM) commences. Now, you may be asking "Shouldn't you say, "Active monitoring (Am)"? To you doubters of my abilities in understanding the rules of capitalization, I say, "Clearly you have never proctored a test." AM involves the following:
a) Forcing the students to stand outside your door as you check each one of them in.
b) Taking each student's lunch order.
c) Forcing them to part with anything they brought and put it at the front of the room.
d) Taking away and labeling their cell phones or other electronic devices.
e) Filling out a provided seating chart that does not match the dimensions of the room.
f) Taking attendance 3 times (not a hyperbole).
g) Reading the test directions and helping people understand how to write their names.
h) Admitting late students, who also require all of the above procedures.
i) Walking around the room for a period of four to five hours. You may not sit.
j) Escorting students to the bathroom like they are five years old.
k) Recording who and what time they went to the bathroom.
l) Blah blah blah.
m) Collecting all test materials and delivering them back to the office.
n) Delivering any students who are (impossibly) not finished with the test to another place.
Letters "a" through "h" must be done to 25 students in approximately 10 minutes.
12) Class (usually lunch and third period) commences. The children are drained and prone to misbehavior.
13) A movie is started in every classroom on campus, and the children form theories about why they have to come to school a full day if all we do is watch a movie after TAKS. The teachers also wonder this, and may or may not express their wonderment.
I guess that's it.
Don't you want to be a teacher?
Valete.
Magistra
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
Anime Idol Again.
Salvete.
It's that time of year again. Time. For. Anime. Idol.
If you missed last year's Anime Idol, here is the link to the blog post:
http://magistrasapiens.blogspot.com/2010/03/forget-american-idol.html
We have our Randy, our Paula, and our Simon, who are played by the same three girls as last year.
We have our Ryan Seacrest, played by the same student as last year, wielding his Coke-bottle microphone.
And we have our various acts.
What you've all been waiting for:
1) Youtube Rap (inappropriate content)
2) Medly of Rick Astley and Pokemon
3) Pokemon Theme Song (the child started out singing really horribly, then another child dragged it off the stage, and into the hall...a fake-mustacio'd child, looking remarkably like the dragged child, appeared to finish the song in a dramatic Spanish accent)
4) Awake and Alive by Skillet (Dramatic)
5) Card Captor Somethinginjapanese Theme Song
6) If You Were Gay (?)
7) Soldier Side by System of a Down (Dramatic)
8) Last-Minute-Give-Me-A-Request-I-Want-The-Prize Song (Which turned into "What Hurts Most" as done by Cascada)
9) L-O-V-E by Nat Cole King [sic]
10) Something I can't identify...it might have been rap?
11) Dirty Pop by N'Sync
AND THE WINNER IS.
#8.
Lesson: Preparation is no good. If you just throw something together at the last minute because the prize is cool, you're sure to get what you want.
And so you see. This has everything to do with Anime. Or something.
At least he kids have fun, which I guess is really all that matters.
Valete.
Magistra
It's that time of year again. Time. For. Anime. Idol.
If you missed last year's Anime Idol, here is the link to the blog post:
http://magistrasapiens.blogspot.com/2010/03/forget-american-idol.html
We have our Randy, our Paula, and our Simon, who are played by the same three girls as last year.
We have our Ryan Seacrest, played by the same student as last year, wielding his Coke-bottle microphone.
And we have our various acts.
What you've all been waiting for:
1) Youtube Rap (inappropriate content)
2) Medly of Rick Astley and Pokemon
3) Pokemon Theme Song (the child started out singing really horribly, then another child dragged it off the stage, and into the hall...a fake-mustacio'd child, looking remarkably like the dragged child, appeared to finish the song in a dramatic Spanish accent)
4) Awake and Alive by Skillet (Dramatic)
5) Card Captor Somethinginjapanese Theme Song
6) If You Were Gay (?)
7) Soldier Side by System of a Down (Dramatic)
8) Last-Minute-Give-Me-A-Request-I-Want-The-Prize Song (Which turned into "What Hurts Most" as done by Cascada)
9) L-O-V-E by Nat Cole King [sic]
10) Something I can't identify...it might have been rap?
11) Dirty Pop by N'Sync
AND THE WINNER IS.
#8.
Lesson: Preparation is no good. If you just throw something together at the last minute because the prize is cool, you're sure to get what you want.
And so you see. This has everything to do with Anime. Or something.
At least he kids have fun, which I guess is really all that matters.
Valete.
Magistra
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