Updating in Chunks, Without Clever Titles.

Salvete,

I thought I'd update in pieces, since there is so much to tell. There are so many things that have been lost through my negligence, that I doubt I could ever capture for you the essence of the year gone by. I thoroughly regret not blogging all this time.

Let's continue with another troubled child.

We'll call this one Larry. He is out of control. He came into my class right before the English TAKS in February. I may have mentioned him driving me to my wit's end before. After four write-ups and multiple calls home, I have given up that tactic. I promised him candy if he was good (after telling him what "good" meant to me...it's important to define your expectations for them, or so I'm told...they actually just ignore whatever you say and get into trouble anyway), but he seems to have forgotten. Maybe I'll bring him a Carmello the last day of school. I have developed a certain affection for Larry, after all we've been through together. I still wish he'd pull up his pants, as he does not provide the same service other sagging students do in wearing gym shorts under their falling jeans. You may ask, "What is it Larry does, exactly, to irk you so?" Well, I can tell you.

First of all, the child is tardy. He is also perpetually out of his seat bugging other people. Or, for that matter, in his seat bugging other people (the rarer occurance). Or, out of his seat bugging me. Or, in his seat bugging me. My favorite moment, which I have probably shared with some of you, is when Larry tells me and the entire class, "MISS, I GOTTA FAWT! CAN I GO IN DA HAWL AND FAWT???" I have let him go out into the hall once (yes, this has happened more than once). However, his class period is during lunch, and he only wants to go in the hall to talk to people. So, now when he does it, I tell him to fart in his seat. The class begs me to let him go outside, but I just tell him to fart at his seat. Ever since I started that tactic, where he doesn't get to go outside, he has gradually asked me less and less to go outside and fart. Success!

There are other specific things I could bring up, but the lesson is this: sometimes, detentions and referrals and punishments don't work. This child is not afraid of principals. He's not afraid of his parents, and Heaven knows he's not afraid of me. It has taken some manipulating, and every day is a struggle, but things are getting better (now that we're on the home stretch). I might even miss Larry when it is time for me to go.

That's all for now.

Valete,
Magistra