Let's Make it a Hat Trick.

Salvete,

Today was a big day as far as blog-worthy items. I cannot help myself.

When a student fails, a few things have to happen.

First, the student has to be determined to fail. This may look like: not paying attention, not turning in notes, overconfidence, etc. If you ever failed a high school class, do us all a favor and stop blaming anyone but yourself. Do not talk to me about how you are the exception to the rule, the teacher was too hard/too mean/hated you.

Second, the student has to maintain his determination to fail for a while. One day of determination to fail is not enough to glean a failing grade. This is not college where you only get graded on two things the whole semester. This nine-weeks alone, my students had 31 assignments. I also take late work, albeit withe a penalty, until the day grades are due.

Third, the teacher has to notify the parent. This is not a part of the actual failure process, but it does have to happen in order for the teacher to submit a failing grade. This is the most unpleasant part of the process, in my opinion, and the part on which I will focus for the rest of this post.

When calling parents, I never know what I am going have answering the phone. It may not speak English, it may be driving or at work, it may be the student himself, or it may be four years old. Regardless of who answers, the next 3 to 30 minutes of my life are guaranteed to be unpleasant. No one likes to hear that their kid is failing. To a (reasonable) parent, a child is the symbol of the best one has to offer the world. If the child fails, the parent feels that failure as well, and perhaps more acutely than does the child. Years of money, time, patience, and heartache go into the child (so do joy and pride and stuff, but those are not as poignant).

When I call a parent, if I am not having to speak in broken Spanish, I try just to listen and allow them to vent. Then I go into the issues I have with the child.

OK, this is boring even me. Let's get to the anecdote.

Today was the day when I call parents. I only had four to call, which is pretty good. That's a 6% failure rate.

The last parent (TLP) I called was very frustrated with me. TLP said the following things to me. I have included my mental and actual responses:

1) I know [student] is very smart but very lazy.
MENTAL RESPONSE: Yes.
ACTUAL RESPONSE: Yes.

2) How should I know to check if [student] is failing when the teacher never calls me?
M. RESPONSE: Because you know #1 in this list.
A. RESPONSE: Are you able to access the online gradebook? No? Oh. Did you get the two progress reports I sent home with [student]?

3) The rest of [student]'s teachers called me, but I did not know he was failing in your class.
M. RESPONSE: Good for them. If he was failing all their classes, it's like DUH that he was failing my class.
A. RESPONSE: I know that must be frustrating.

4) Can [student] come in this afternoon to do extra credit and bring up the grade?
M. RESPONSE: Do you really think I am going to be here after lunch? Do you really think I am going to let [student] made up a semester's worth of work in one afternoon? There is no afternoon long enough.
A. RESPONSE: No. (etc...See post including my Extra Credit philosophy)

5) It doesn't seem fair for you to just be calling now and not let [student] do extra credit.
M. RESPONSE: I would like to point you in the direction of my blog. Reference link in #4.
A. RESPONSE: It would not be fair for me to allow [student] to do extra credit now, when the rest of the students have taken care of their business. I gave an extra credit opportunity, due today, that [student] chose not to do, and that was up to [student].

It went on like this for a while, with TLP variously venting here and there.

Should I ever bear a child into this cold, cruel, unfair world where teachers are blamed for student failure, I hope that someone makes me reread my own blog every day before I send the kid to school.

Valete,
Magistra