Like a Lamp

Salvete,

As a teacher, one has to be ON all the time. What I mean by being ON is this: whatever mood you were in when you came to school, that mood is irrelevant. Figure it out. Get it together. Love the kids.

If one has a desk job, one can schlump a little bit in the cubicle and grouch around half-way through the morning until coffee time. If one has a job requiring manual labor, one can pour the hurt of the day before into the new day's physical task. If one works in retail or some other wage job, one can take "smoke" breaks or become consumed in a task.

Teachers have to be ON all the time.

This is not to say that other jobs are not taxing in various ways that teaching is not. I am not here to offend (well, maybe a little) or to qualify, just to talk about my thoughts. Get your own blog if you take issue with my opinions.

You may have had teachers who chose not to be ON. They were hateful towards the kids, or let their personal issues run their classroom. The best I can do for my students is to be ON every day, and be the same every day, as much as a human being can. I promised them that the first day of school, and I try to maintain that promise.

However, I have found that being ON from 7:15 to 3:45 takes a toll on my peronsal life. Either I treat my peers/parents like my students out of the habit of being in the teacher persona, or I allow the supressed frustration/grumpiness leak out into personal relationships. I find myself giving so much at work that I take too much when I am home.

Lately, I have had more migraines than usual. Since school started four weeks ago, I have had two severe ones, the aftermath of which has lasted for two or more days. Such frequency is not typical of my migraines. I have been forgetful and distracted, and have been having heart palpitations more than usual. All are signs of stress, insofar as I can tell.

Despite stress, or being ON, or whatever, I love my kids so much. They are incredible every day. I am fortunate to have them in my life. I have already learned from them this year, and they have learned from me. They feel safe in my class, and they feel smart.

Valete,
Magistra